Grumpy Grandma: Mardi Gras Mayhem

Y’all… so there I was—downtown Lafayette, knee deep in the Mardi Gras festivities and having the time of my life, when all of a sudden—out of nowhere, I felt pain like I ain’t felt since giving birth to my 8th child… I must have blacked-out for a moment as I falled to the ground. Dazed and confused I started to open my eyes and tried to stand up. I turned to look at my friend Myra, and she started yelling… PEARL!!! PEARL!!! Still a bit shaky from the event, I’m thinking, “…what da hell is she sayin, Pearl died almost 3 years ago”. Then, she started again, PEARL!!! PEARL!!! I look up just in time to see a 3 pound bag of Mardi Gras Pearls headed straight for my head. I tried to move, but it was too late and for the second time in about 10 seconds, I took a headshot from da top of a super decker float from some space cowboy with no date and too many beads to unwrap so he’s throwing them by the bag full. Mon dieu cowboy, dat hurt. Luckily, I was wearing my Diana Ross wig. I think it softened da blow so I ain’t got no permanent brain damage. But I got your number cowboy and when you least expect it, expect it cuz ole Nettie Mae got a long memory!